A biography for Lois Greimanhasn’t been written yet.
“Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.”
“Chocolate may be cheaper than a psychiatrist, but the latter doesn't generally adhere to your ass for the rest of your natural life.”
“If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago.”
“I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet”
“Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier.”
“He who laughs loudest has a high probability of being extremely inebriated.”
“Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars.”
“There is no feature as attractive as a well exercised intellect.”
“Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either.”
“You don't know many friends you have till you buy a big-ass house on the beach.”
“A woman needs a man like a tuba needs a cucumber.”
“You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.”
“Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after.”
“A wedding is no way to begin a marriage.”
“Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.”
“In the movie business, the ones we call Lucky are usually those idiots who are just too damn stubborn to take no for an answer. Come to think of it, the movie business is kind of like life.”
“Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously.”
“It'd hardly be worth having a brother at all, if you couldn't smack him in the head every once in a while.”
“They say love makes the world go around… I been dizzy for a long time.”
“Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink.”