Lois Greiman

“In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.”

“Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.”

“Don't worry. It's scientifically unlikely that the universe will explode into a million particles at any given moment.”

“Marriage is like a toothbrush. It starts out smooth and gets kind of prickly towards the end.”

“Sometimes it's nice to have a man around the house. But a dog will clean the dishes.”

“And thanks to Christina McMullen, who has taught me that common sense and intelligence need not have any correlation whatsoever.”

“I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister.”

“There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.”

“You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father.”

“It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with.”

“Of course I believe in hell. I have three brothers.”

“What if there's no such thing as PMS, and this is just my personality?”

“Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore.”

“You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.”

“Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.”

“Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance.”