Romesh Ranganathan

“My mum's financial plan is: Romesh becomes a millionaire.”

“My problem is that we are all listening to music in a more disposable fashion.”

“My family is all obsessed with comedy. I grew up watching a lot of comedy in the house. I used to watch Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy with my dad. But my mom is more into slapstick stuff.”

“My childhood memories are filled with hugs and kisses from both my mum and dad. My mum has a thing about kissing you an odd number of times: if she kisses you once, all good, but if she kisses you twice, then you know another one has to follow and, weirdly, she tends to go for the forehead.”

“You can be good at comedy, which means you'll be given spots, but beyond that it is luck that pushes you to the next level. There are loads of brilliant comedians who haven't had the breaks, and plenty of average comedians who have.”

“All of the most interesting people had a horrible time as kids. All the best rappers struggled.”

“I'll play anything Mario- or Zelda-related, but Fortnite is one step beyond me. I don't get anything from it but motion sickness and an increased sense of anxiety about how violent future generations are going to be.”

“Because let's be clear about this: birthdays are for children. It's the one day of the year where they get properly spoilt and are the centre of attention, and they get the presents they really, really want.”

“Getting a sleeve at my age is a midlife crisis for the man who can't afford a sports car.”

“To avoid depression while travelling, I always take loads of items that make me feel connected with home. I can't even explain the joy I felt when I realised I'd remembered to pack my vanilla and mango scented beard oil. The feeling of euphoria was similar to my kids being born.”

“When I first started watching stand-up, I fell in love with American comedy before British comedy.”

“It is fair to say that I am generally very bad at keeping in touch - with everyone. When I read a text, my brain seems to think that I have replied to it, and so I am often genuinely surprised when people tell me I haven't.”

“I was a teacher before comedy, but it was good because no two days were the same, which this job is too.”

“Supermarkets and specialist suppliers will have you believe there are great substitutes for cheese. There are not. No vegan cheese tastes anything like decent cheese, and melting cheese might as well be alchemy as far as the vegan cheese industry is concerned.”

“Years later, when I was working as a trolley wally in a supermarket, I tackled the boredom by talking to the customers in as many different accents as I could manage. I started with one that I didn't think would alert any suspicion - generic Asian - then moved on to Irish, Welsh, Australian and American.”

“The contrast of being in the spotlight when you're very young and then suddenly not can be really bad for your mental state.”

“I was terrible at sport at school. I was fat, which made things slightly tougher, but it also meant that people were encouraging to the point of patronising.”

“Teaching is so solid and reliable, comedy is not.”

“Actually, the reason I'm a huge Arsenal fan is because when my dad moved over from Sri Lanka, he lived in north London and fell in love with Arsenal. Then he moved to East Grinstead and bought a pub, which he turned into an Arsenal pub.”

“I have a hip-hop podcast and get to meet all these rappers I love, so I feel very lucky.”