Romesh Ranganathan

“It's much easier for the vegan to remain at home and do their own Christmas dinner. That way, you can enjoy your food without someone making some hilarious comment about your stuffed pepper.”

“The key to a happy marriage is myself being absent for long periods of time. My wife Leesa and I will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary next year, but if my comedy gigs petered out and I was around the house more, we'd 100% be getting divorced.”

“I have long been guilty of dressing too young for my age.”

“Usually, if I have a day to write, I will spend the first hour thinking about how I am going to structure my day. I will also spend time helping my kids to get ready for school. Then I spend an hour making and eating breakfast, because balanced nutrition has suddenly become very important.”

“One day, I brought home Eddie Murphy's 'Raw', and Dad and I would watch that together.”

“I loved stand-up, but I never thought you could do it as a job.”

“My mum's very spiritual, and I think she just tells everyone that I'm spiritual, too.”

“My comedy career aside, I am a father of three, a husband, a son, a brother and a vegan.”

“My beard is just an ongoing effort to hide my face as much as possible.”

“Our house was repossessed and we lived in a B&B until we got a council house. It was a struggle, but Mum just got her head down, found cleaning jobs and never complained. I owe her a lot, so I now do everything she says.”

“Social media has exacerbated a trend whereby people speak with complete authority on every subject, regardless of how informed they are.”

“My life consists of intense focus on urgent areas of development, and then abandonment of that focus shortly afterwards.”

“Trying to be funny is arguably the least funny thing you can do.”

“There's nothing less funny than somebody trying to be funny. I loved Jack Dee, then I met him and I became the least funny human to exist because of my desperation to say something amusing.”

“I tend to be melodramatic and super self-involved.”

“Sri Lanka's interpretation of western cuisine is pretty diabolical. Sri Lankan food itself is ace, however, and they bloody love a buffet. Even if you go to a basic-looking cafe, they can knock up four or five different curries for you very quickly.”

“I mean, my stand-up is very honest and exposing in this way. I probably carry that into everything I do.”

“My obsession with hip-hop has given me an addiction to trainers, which are very much a young person's game, and I am known to rock a full tracksuit, under the pretence that it's more comfortable to travel in.”

“When you spend your day writing comedy, particularly with others, the discussion of jokes and how far to push things with a group of unoffendable colleagues means that your grasp of what is acceptable in normal conversation is often skewed.”

“Having curry for breakfast is a thing of beauty.”