A biography for Jerry Seinfeldhasn’t been written yet.
“נשים אוהבות רופאים מסיבה דומה לכך שגברים אוהבים דוגמניות: נשים רוצות מישהו עם ידע על גוף האדם, אנחנו רק מעוניינים בגוף.”
“גבר מצפה מאישה לאותם דברים שהוא מצפה מזוג תחתונים, מעט תמיכה ומעט חופש.”
“I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained.”
“People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.”
“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.”
“The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.”
“The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.”
“I like definitive things.”
“If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.”
“To a guy like me, a laugh is full of information.”
“If you're a surfer, you just want to surf. You don't know if anyone's going to see you, and you don't really care if they see you. You just live for that feeling.”
“There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'”
“The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.”
“I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.”
“You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'”
“You want to do good things, and once you've done a couple of good things in a row, you think 'Well gee, let's not mess this up.' But I am lucky at this point that I have something I really love to do, and it completely holds my attention. I never feel frustrated by it.”
“Men want to make women happy.”
“I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.”
“It takes up enough of my time and interest just working on comedy. I just enjoy it and love doing it.”
“I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I'm doing new stuff all the time.”