“There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.”

American filmmaker, actor, writer, and comedian

Woody Allen is an American filmmaker, actor, writer, and comedian whose career has stretched across more than seven decades. He is best known for his work in film, television, and theater, especially as a screenwriter. As a writer for the screen, Allen holds the record for the most Academy Award wins and nominations in the Best Original Screenplay category, with 3 wins and 16 nominations. He has also won four Academy Awards in total, along with multiple BAFTA Awards, Golden Globe Awards, and a Grammy Award. His honors include an Honorary Golden Lion, the BAFTA Fellowship, an Honorary Palme d'Or, and the Cecil B. DeMille Award.