A biography for Zach Galifianakishasn’t been written yet.
“I can get away with anything. But when I try to be sincere, people just roll their eyes.”
“We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny.”
“I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.”
“I am not into publicity. I'm not good at it. I get anxiety about it.”
“Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.”
“That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling.”
“My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis.”
“Comedians paint ourselves into corners all the time, and tastes in comedy change. The guy in 'The Hangover' was a really fun character to do, and it was easy to do. But you have to find other things because audiences will let you do that for a little bit, and then they're like, 'What else do you have for us, monkey?'”
“It's not good for comedy to be like, 'Thanks for liking me.' Being popular is poison.”
“I'm not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I'd have to go back to school or something.”
“A good stand-up, you lead the audience. You don't kowtow to the audience. Sometimes the audience is wrong. I always think the audience is wrong.”
“Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.”
“Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.”
“You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody's so tired.”
“I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.”