Vermin Supreme

“My involvement in politics was always to be the prankster and show the silliness of the situation.”

“I'm a friendly fascist.”

“I'm a tyrant that you should trust, and you should let me run your life, because I do know what is best for you.”

“Imagination is very important to having vision and trying to find things that are different, alternate ways.”

“People ask, Vermin, are you planning on using ponies as currency? The answer is no.”

“I am a pragmatist. We are given what we have here in terms of government, so as an anarchist, okay, I'll lean to the Republican side of getting the government small enough to drown in a bathtub or whatever.”

“Tom Brady should be a heartbeat away from the presidency, and that heartbeat should be mine.”

“I believed I paved the way for Donald Trump. I brought ridiculousness to politics and he saw an opening and just jumped on in there.”

“My own personal goal was always to beat Lyndon LaRouche.”

“For too long, this country has been suffering a great moral and oral decay in spirit and incisors.”

“One of the most important things about using a bullhorn is you don't have to yell over it.”

“I've scrubbed many, many landmarks. I scrubbed the Kremlin back in '98. We had a mandatory-toothbrushing parade; we had the text of the mandatory-toothbrush law translated into Russian. And we had like 30 Russians; we had musicians; we had the giant toothbrushes. The police came and told us to stop, and we stopped.”

“If I were to become a serial glitter-bomber, it would seriously impact my ability to get close enough to candidates to ask them a stupid question.”

“Together my friends, we will ride our ponies into a zombie-powered future.”

“I think the important thing to understand about the free pony program is, of course, it is an absolutely free pony program, uh, there may be some incidental costs involved with pony social security or universal pony health care or the haystamp program so ponies won't starve in the streets.”

“It is only the dogmatic, and the humorless, that don't succumb to my charm.”

“Yes, I will promise you anything your little elector heart desires... Of course, I have no intention of keeping any promise I make.”

“Free ponies for all Americans!”

“Anarchists believe we can run our lives without the government.”

“You should let me run your life because I know what is best for you.”