Tim Key

“I sometimes photograph my poems and get obsessive about this and spend a lot of time squatting over them but it's a bit demeaning to me and, actually, to photography.”

“I never really expected I would end up being the type of person who has a spare denim onesie.”

“Weirdly, it's much easier to write a poem than a film.”

“My dad was a massive fan of radio from its inception and he never missed an opportunity to angle a speaker at his young family. His main poison was obviously 'Test Match Special,' which he drizzled into my ears from day one.”

“When I think about it, my resignations have rarely involved too many histrionics.”

“I went to Sheffield to study Russian and came back and had six months trying to work out what to do next.”

“If you've ever seen me climb onto a train and spot a Mirror or the sports section of the Guardian, you'll also have seen me fist-pumping extensively and slapping it into my fellow riders' faces in celebration.”

“I would never have considered becoming a comedian when I was a student.”

“Pineapple shouldn't be perching on pizza any more than KitKats should be crumbled on to lasagne. But still, I'll take it on.”

“I quietly like a lot of the stuff that I do. But I think you'd look like a bit of a plum if you started to think you were really good - or certainly if you started to say you were really good. You don't want to jinx it.”

“I used to be really good at squash until I did my shoulder in.”

“When listening to any new Pink offering the main thing to ask is, 'I wonder how up for it she's going to be in this song?'”

“I loved Katy Wix's book 'Delicacy.' It's a poignant and beautifully penned book about grief and cake. Together at last.”

“Once you start using a thesaurus, when do you stop?”

“Doing a new show is just so much pressure. I saw a magazine with my face on the cover and the question 'Is this the funniest man in Edinburgh?' I think they meant it in a flattering way but it's not the sort of thing you want to see if you've just had a bad gig.”

“A lot of poems are boring and impenetrable. Mine are not. They're really simple.”

“When you can't think of something interesting, you begin to wonder whether it's because your life is, in and of itself, uninteresting.”

“I was doing a poetry thing in Tottenham and I remember walking down this road looking for the address, the pub where it was going to be. And as I got closer and closer I realised it wasn't a pub, it was just this house. There were maybe eight or 10 poets sat round in a circle on beanbags doing their poetry.”

“I know for a fact I watch too much telly, so it's great to have the option of a yucca. I can switch off the snooker and stand in front of my yucca instead, arms folded. Occasionally I'll speak to it or run my knuckles down its leg. Share a moment with it.”

“I always balk when a so-called 'friend' gives me a book as a gift and it's 650 pages long.”