A biography for Tim Keyhasn’t been written yet.
“Tim Vine's off the scale. Exhaustingly funny.”
“I live on my own and things like yuccas and telephones make the whole place a bit more vibrant.”
“I really like baths so I've invented a show which is almost all about baths but told in a comical way. I love baths. I will have a lot of baths. Most days. It's a good place to reflect and take stock.”
“I suppose I'm a fairly unreliable comedian and man.”
“I'd like to write a play, and I'd like to write a sitcom, but these things take a lot of application. It would be an enormous feeling of achievement if I managed to do that, but I think it speaks volumes that I've written lots of poems.”
“I cooked Christmas dinner for sixty people in St Petersburg once. Not on my own, and I think my bit was being part of a team of people who bought roast chickens that were turning on spits in the meat shop. So again, not cooking per se. But certainly, I was involved.”
“It's a strange part of my life, really, that sometimes I get an email going, 'Do you want to be Alan Partridge's sidekick for a bit?' Those are very quick emails to reply to.”
“Frame anything and it can look beautiful, in my experience.”
“It is a peculiar experience, prowling the streets of Edinburgh before the festival has begun. No large groups of teenagers in matching T-shirts advertising their musical. No battle-scarred comedians plodding philosophically towards their next pie. No posters.”
“It's difficult to know when to put an inverted comma around a poem.”
“There's not that many jobs in poetry.”
“I do think the idea of just going to Edinburgh and being really honest would be interesting. But I have no interest in it at all.”
“I carry a notepad which is 5.5' x 3.8' which fits snugly into my pocket.”
“When you're a cricket fan, your summer is defined by the Test match itinerary. Similarly, when you're a young comedian, your summer is defined by the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. When you're both, things get blurry.”
“Usually I write irrelevant twaddle and hope for the best.”
“Ever since I was able to consume entertainment, radio has been one of the main things I've devoured.”
“I love 'Nuts in May.' A simple tale about a couple of well-meaning campers, determined to have a nice time in the country but thwarted by that classic fly in the ointment: 'other people.'”
“There's a time and a place for all sizes and textures of paper.”
“Imminent resignation isn't a fun thing to have on your plate.”
“I am more of a bath person but I have a lot of showers too.”