Steven Crowder

“I can tell you beyond any doubt, that my lady is able to control herself and stick to her values regardless of circumstance. Just as surely, she can say the same about me (Ben & Jerry's benders notwithstanding).”

“Your wedding can be the most memorable day and night of your life... or just another party.”

“I am consistently amazed at Sean Hannity's inability to host his own show. He's a dear, dear man - a very nice person... these liberals who aren't even that smart just come in and absolutely bulldoze him like a child.”

“My name is Steven Crowder, and I happen to find blatant gayness funny. I mean really funny.”

“I still can't decide which is silliest; a person believing in a God who 'isn't there,' or a person offended by a God whom he doesn't believe exists.”

“Why on Earth would the United States ever want to be more like Europe? Correct me if I'm wrong, but we left, did we not? Not only did we leave that older, lesser world behind, but we left skid-marks along the way with an entire continent eating our proverbial dust.”

“I'm a pansy when compared to the men and women of the United States military.”

“One of my goals in life is to watch political correctness shrivel up and die (as it should be for any true conservative).”

“I know everybody says that their bride was the 'most beautiful in the world.' They're wrong. I win.”

“Whether you see Jesus as nothing more than a mythical figure or not, there's no doubt that living your life in a Christ-like manner is a lot harder than the hedonistic lifestyle reflected in Hollywood.”

“Contrary to what most of Hollywood will tell you, the men and women of our armed forces are the best among us. Not only because of how they serve, but because they are able to find the best in each other... And they are able to encapsulate the best in all of us.”

“Who'd have thought that living life like a dime store floozy throughout your formative years could negatively affect your decision-making ability or long-term, future relationships?”

“If you want to practice Islam in the inconsequential, semi-secular sense, fine.”

“When Barack Obama tries to continually weasel his ever-expanding government into the private sector or does something like try to sneak the biggest backdoor tax in history into the books, he ceases to be 'Presidential.'”

“When it comes to the liberal agenda, it's more important to pigeonhole people than it is to speak the truth.”

“If I hadn't been raised in such a logical household, the entertainment industry would have elicited only one reaction from me in regards to 'Christians': 'Good God, these people are crazy.'”

“My father (like most fathers) always taught me that a man is someone who stands by his principles, someone who lives with integrity and puts his family before himself. That last one is important, because as a young boy, it's your pops who provides you with security.”

“To a straight man, the notion of walking around as a coiffed, waxed, nail-polish-wearing, lispy dude is uproariously absurd. As people, we find absurdities funny. That's our first step in making sense of them.”

“As someone who comes from a family of lifers (along with my wife), I just want to say, flat out... Marriage is a really good deal.”

“Essentially, Robin Hood put a smackdown on the medieval equivalent of the IRS.”