Sean Evans

“It's amazing how quickly a defined jawline can turn your luck around.”

“Smart people, often times, are miserable people.”

“When 'Hot Ones' is done right, every wing is like a different part of that person's personality.”

“I remember me and my brother would watch 'Beavis and Butthead' or 'South Park,' but we'd be all secret about it because we didn't want our dad to know. And then before I know it, I'm in fourth grade and me, my brother, and my dad are watching 'South Park' together.”

“If there's one thing Eagles and Giants fans can agree on, it's a mutual disdain for Skip Bayless.”

“Once you're past the age of, say, 11, you should stop idolizing athletes. You look ridiculous wearing the jersey of a guy who is younger and wealthier than you are.”

“I never feel more famous than at the hot sauce expo.”

“When you're only source of income is a $20 allowance and you rely on a Razor scooter to get around, life's not that serious.”

“Proof of the 'hysterical strength' phenomenon is still hearsay, mostly because it's impossible to recreate those conditions in a lab. That said, try turning a doorknob when the bass drops on 'Skyfall' without ripping that door clean off of its hinges.”

“Gamers are horrible roommates because they monopolize the TV with something less watchable than 'The Mob Doctor' and, if that wasn't irritating enough, have the audacity to scream combat commands through a head set.”

“Our 'Hot Ones' interview show is all about deconstructing celebrities and making them seem like normal people.”

“People who are from Chicago are just funnier than people who aren't from Chicago.”

“Penny Hardaway has a decided style advantage over other players because he rocked one of the crispiest jerseys in NBA history.”

“If you think scrawling your Twitter handle on a bus window with a Sharpie is a worthwhile way to gain followers, your social media strategy is headed in a pretty pathetic direction.”

“The prevailing subtext of every dating book is that beautiful women are surpassingly obtainable, so long as you get over the intimidation that keeps you from approaching them. That's maybe the dumbest advice ever.”

“There's something about supposed experts making millions of dollars to bark tired sports cliches that makes our blood boil. And it should.”

“Stadiums are notoriously bad for cell phone reception. Spending the majority of a game trying to post an Instagram'd picture of the field isn't just pitiful, it's damn near hopeless.”

“When I'm off the clock, I'm just drinking juice and eating cereal and salads and stuff. If I'm off the clock, I'm not eating wings.”

“Taking mass transit is an uphill battle and one wrong move can put you on the latest Worldstarhiphop fight compilation.”

“I often hear that those are people's favorite episodes, the ones with people that they don't know. That's the magic of 'Hot Ones.'”