A biography for Sean Evanshasn’t been written yet.
“If LeBron James, Phil Mickelson, or Reggie Bush had to rely on personality to make it in this world, they'd all be incredibly athletic rodeo clowns.”
“It's always annoying to me when I see Nick Cannon on a press appearance and everyone's asking about Mariah Carey. Give this guy a break. How many years and how many ways does he have to answer the stupid question.”
“It's weird, but I'm so empathetic; when I see people dying on hot sauce, I do feel for them. And I'm a Midwestern guy, so I think I'm just naturally nice and polite.”
“I don't have a ton of talents. I'm not this conventionally attractive TV dude.”
“We don't really want to be the 'Late Night' of the Internet. We want to have one foot in the mainstream, one foot in the underground.”
“Before Julius Erving, being a stylish basketball player meant 13 ounces of pomade in your hair and color coordinating the belt in your shorts with your canvas sneakers. Dr. J was a transcendent figure athletically, but he also changed the aesthetics of the sport.”
“Relative to the rest of your life, college isn't all that hard.”
“If ever there were a case for raising taxes on the wealthy, it's Andrew Bynum.”
“Patrons, don't berate bouncers for denying you entry.”
“To ask somebody to sit down and watch 30 minutes' worth of an Internet video - on the Internet, that's an eternity.”
“When Complex hired me, originally I wasn't at First We Feast, I was just like a hired hand for Complex. They'd send me out to different events or they'd have people visiting the office and I'd do interviews with athletes, musicians, whoever.”
“Title IX is important. Women have made incredible gains in athletics, but does Brittney Griner have a chance in the post against Julius Randle? No.”
“When you consider the depths to which major college football coaches are willing to sink in order to protect their programs, Tyrann Mathieu's dismissal from LSU is staggering.”
“There's absolutely nothing glamorous about getting old.”
“No future employer is going to comb your college transcript to see how you fared in Microeconomics 300. In fact, you won't even be asked about where you went to school after your first entry level job.”
“There's not a lot of chefs in the kitchen and very few people are involved in 'Hot Ones.' There's no research team or anything like that.”
“I want to retire in Chicago.”
“Heartbreak can be so pathetic.”
“White dude speed' is the kind of quickness that you see from a guy who's trying to beat the 'Do Not Walk' sign across the street. They're moving but not fast enough to scuff their boat shoes.”
“I'm not Ryan Seacrest. If I want people to pay attention to me, I have to just eat scorching-hot food.”