A biography for Ron Whitehasn’t been written yet.
“Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.”
“I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it.”
“I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
“I'm not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you'll pay late.”
“There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup anyway, so I don't know what they're doing.”
“I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.”
“I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.”
“Comedy is great because there's no overhead.”
“When I was a kid, mostly I played in a ditch that didn't have much water in it. It was for drainage purposes. There was not a lot trouble to get into in that ditch. It was ditch activities like catching crawdads and minnows.”
“All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.”
“When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!”
“You can't fix stupid.”
“I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.”
“I guarantee there's people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.”
“Movies are boring. It's like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It's just horrible. Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it's 18 hours of doing not a thing.”
“I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.”
“I write these shows one joke at a time. There's no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there's not continuity.”
“A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.”
“Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.”
“I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.”