Ralphie May

“Fat people are the only people you can still make fun of in this country.”

“I don't get much respect from the industry in general, but that's OK. I didn't get into it for respect. I got into it to make people laugh, and that's what I'm doing. That's all I give a damn about.”

“So many comics, skinny and fat, make fat jokes.”

“I work hard, and I make people laugh. What's wrong with that?”

“L.A. is not a place where people walk.”

“I want to raise awareness about evils perpetuated on American citizens by other American citizens.”

“I think there's a bias against fat people on network television.”

“I've got a lot of charisma, plus women are forgiving and they can be charmed.”

“My average fan works for about $20 per hour, if they are lucky enough to have a job. And then factoring in insurance, taxes and such, they're maybe bringing home $15 per hour. If my tickets are just under $30, it took them about two hours of their life to make the money to come see my show. Why shouldn't I give them two hours too?”

“I grew up in a little town in Arkansas called Clarksville and it was a weird existence, you know? I grew up white trash; we had holes in our walls.”

“Jay Mohr saved my life. That's not an overstatement either.”

“There's a big difference between being racist and racially insensitive.”

“There's certain stock lines that, you know, like heckler lines, you know, like, where did you learn to whisper, a helicopter, you know? Nobody owns those. I mean, someone first wrote it but it's been so universally used that it's common and it's called stock.”

“I loved 'Celebrity Fit Club,' working out six days a week, running a mile and a half three times a week, and doing 1,000 crunches and sit-ups a day with a trainer. I did too much, but I lost 78 pounds of fat and 18 inches around my waist in four months.”

“My audience expects me to push the limits, to be politically incorrect. I do that because for me, that's the only place where the fun is, when I get to push the boundaries and make people laugh at things that they probably didn't want to laugh at.”

“I'm honest, at the end of the day - I'm obese, but I'm not obtuse.”

“My audience has accepted me for a long time as, you know, not a fat comedian but a comedian who happens to be fat. That's a huge difference.”

“Most comics can't produce the amount of material I produce.”

“I've had people hate me for my appearance. I think it gets me a certain level of empathy with the audience. If I was white and handsome and privileged, I probably couldn't talk about what I talk about because people wouldn't believe that I have empathy or I could be evenhanded and objective. It's strange.”

“I've never seen myself as a victim because of my physicality. If I did play that game, I wouldn't be the comedian that I am.”