Michael McIntyre

“If you can help it, don't be rude to people. When you're rude about someone and the audience laugh you can't deny that it's a bullying laugh.”

“A responsive crowd is great - they help you see new things in your comedy.”

“It would be nice if I had a faster metabolism, because I love food.”

“I always knew I was quite good at getting laughs. At school, I loved having a ready audience if I made a cheeky remark.”

“I've always found the world funny and enjoy laughing at it, and that's what all comedians do.”

“Maybe people just can't cope with how jovial I am.”

“I never felt like I belong to anything - to any groups of friends. I never really had that.”

“I had some terrible times - comparatively speaking. I saddled myself with a load of debt, I wasn't liked by a lot of my fellow comics and I used to blame other people for me not getting a break. But now I realise I just wasn't very good. And as soon as I became good, things took off pretty quickly.”

“I'm not going to crack America.”

“The only critics who annoy me are the ones who come to my shows even when they're clearly not fans of my work.”