A biography for Michael McIntyrehasn’t been written yet.
“I got my big break at the Royal Variety Performance in 2006 and returned in 2008, but now to host it is such an honour and I'm unbelievably excited.”
“It's such a lie that women go for funny men.”
“I definitely wanted a Ferrari 328 - I was obsessive about cars as a kid.”
“I have no ambitions to act, because I don't know how to.”
“My wife is very fit and looking younger every day, whereas I'm looking older day by day.”
“If I'm honest, I think everything is funny. You've just got to find the right way in. When I'm at my happiest and when I'm really on it, when I feel like I'm really on good form at the moment, everything can be funny.”
“Women like me. Women love me. But not so my wife need worry. Not in a 'he's so hot' type of way. More in a 'come round for a cup of tea' way.”
“The world is in a bit of a state. I don't know how it's happened so quickly but everyone's a bit on edge. I'm not sure that our leaders are doing a great job globally. We're hoping on Trump and Kim Jong-un - these two people who maybe aren't necessarily the sanest.”
“People have their special room for Christmas. One year my mum left her present on the arm of the sofa and it was still there the following Christmas!”
“I've always felt so unconnected to other comedians.”
“Australia is fun, but completely exhausting and confusing because I never get on with the different time zone.”
“Success and arena shows are a great anti-depressant.”
“I've always just tried to make the audience laugh.”
“I'm thrilled at the continued success of the 'Big Show.'”
“I call people 'captain' a lot and it makes them feel special. Until they hear me using it for everyone, that is.”
“I went to quite a nice school as a kid, where everyone was quite posh, because my dad was making some money.”
“I was trying to do one-liners and it took me years to realise I just had to be myself. My fear was if I was myself and no one found it funny, I'd have nowhere left to go.”
“I don't just like to use punchlines anymore, especially in arenas. They freak me out. There is nothing worse than 15,000 people waiting for a punchline.”
“I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left 'Countdown;' I mean, it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker.”
“Sometimes it's difficult to laugh at certain things but comedy can help.”