A biography for Michael McIntyrehasn’t been written yet.
“You have to be realistic. Not everyone is going to like you, so you have to focus on the ones who do.”
“Given this voice, I know it does sound like I've come from money. But my dad was Canadian and my mum Hungarian, so it's not like I have some high-society, upper-class English background.”
“One of the positives of getting older is that you forget your age. Then you find out that you're younger than you thought you were.”
“I'm sure there are comedians who make jokes about me, but say something funny, not mean.”
“I can sit and write clever things, but that never quite works as well as when I'm just chatting about stupid things in the moment.”
“I think if anyone becomes so obnoxious to believe they could be a national treasure, they just need to go on Twitter and realise they're not. That's there to curtail anybody's confidence.”
“I had a great moment with Michael Buble where I asked him if he could teach me to sing like him and he said why we don't sing together, so we did! It was great because my wife and children came to watch his performance.”
“Our family home, a large house in Hampstead, was sold to Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. I remember being told that 'someone who eats bats' was buying it.”
“I do speak well as I went to a posh school. But I come from no real breeding.”
“It's a weird one: nobody notices when a brilliant comedian is fat or has sweat marks under their arms. Peter Kay isn't in the best shape and neither is Ricky Gervais, and it doesn't matter. Still, I like to feel like I'm transforming into something quite cool when I go on stage.”
“I found the idea of trying to create a show that everyone can enjoy really appealing.”
“I always used to want everyone to like me, because it used to hurt so much when people made snidey comments or gave me bad reviews, but I've learnt to deal with it.”
“I sometimes reflect on my own life on stage and no one laughs, but you have to have faith in it and hope that people will laugh.”
“I want to look svelte.”
“I think actually performing on stage when everyone's facing you and you're one person facing them, that is quite a lonely thing in a strange way. You have to be quite insular from everybody else, you've got thousands of people staring at you and you're just on your own.”
“Coming up with your own opinion is hard. When I go to see a movie I don't really know if I enjoyed it, so I ask my wife and listen to people talking on the way out. If they all say it was magnificent I'll agree!”
“I usually do quite well with presents, but the problem with Christmas is it's such a big build-up and such a big day that if someone tests you the year after, you've got no idea what you got.”
“I really, really love stand-up.”
“I just find little things in life funny, it's why I giggle during my shows.”
“I don't have any writers. I never get a laugh with somebody else's jokes. I can't do it justice.”