Kinky Friedman

“No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”

“I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.”

“If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.”

“If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.”

“The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.”

“The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.”

“You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.”

“I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!”

“I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.”