Kinky Friedman

“I see an issue I like, and I support it.”

“May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.”

“When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.”

“These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.”

“Young people are the key to this election.”

“The best fiction is true.”

“The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.”

“A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.”

“I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.”

“I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.”

“I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.”

“Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.”

“You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.”

“I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.”

“I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.”

“I don't apologize to people with an agenda.”

“How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?”

“Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.”

“And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.”

“We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.”