A biography for Kinky Friedmanhasn’t been written yet.
“We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.”
“The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.”
“If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.”
“Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.”
“I'll sign anything except bad legislation.”
“I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.”
“I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.”
“I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.”
“I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.”
“We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.”
“I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.”
“I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.”
“Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.”
“Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.”
“Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.”
“William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.”
“Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.”
“The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'”
“We were a country band with a social conscience.”
“Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.”