Kin Hubbard

“Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.”

“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.”

“After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.”

“It's the good loser who finally loses out.”

“The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.”

“An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.”

“A good listener is usually thinking about something else.”

“Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.”

“Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.”

“It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.”

“Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.”

“It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game.”

“There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?”

“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”

“Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.”

“Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.”

“Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.”

“Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.”

“A loafer always has the correct time.”

“As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.”