A biography for Karl Pilkingtonhasn’t been written yet.
“I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.”
“If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.”
“I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.”
“When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that.”
“I could eat a knob at night.”
“I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.”
“Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'”
“We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.'”
“I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you?”
“I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.”
“Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.”
“If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error.”
“I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything.”
“People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this.”
“I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.”
“They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?”
“I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.”
“It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey”
“The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.”
“Chinese people age overnight.”