A biography for John Pinettehasn’t been written yet.
“No matter what, I'll never be tiny.”
“I snagged the biggest bandwagon in history. Just when the buffet stuff was running out, now I'm the 'Seinfeld' guy. Somebody up there likes me. That's why I never worry. Something always comes up.”
“You know, working with puppets - there is just something about it. Because the puppet takes on its own personality.”
“I have issues with food and weight and I can make that funny. The audience loves it. I have fun with it.”
“It's a cliche, but my comedy is all about life.”
“I worked at a mortgage company, and after I left, most of the office went to jail.”
“I don't think most comics look at their early stuff and think, 'wow... that was great!'”
“I made $225.81 a week as an accountant, and I went to $400 a week as a stand-up. I was up to $800 a week when I went out to L.A. In L.A., I made $25.”
“I knew if I wanted to live past mid-life I would have to lose some weight.”
“I have a tendency to be larger than life.”
“Just coming to L.A. to be a comic and an actor, it's not the kindest world to come to. There's a lot of rejection, which I'm not used to. I hate rejection, but it's about 90 percent of the business.”
“Salad isn't a meal. Salad's the stuff that comes with a meal.”
“I'd done the movie 'The Punisher,' and Travolta was in that, though we didn't have scenes together. We met at the premiere and he's a very nice man.”
“I want to talk about being a big guy... it's not a fat joke. It's a joke about living the way you live.”
“I talk about my life; it is the funniest thing I can think of.”
“The best way to become a better stand-up guy is to take a break from it and do other things.”
“I could go out and talk about President Clinton... or some issue, but people will be on either side. But everyone eats. It's the international language, like Esperanto.”
“I went a nutritionist... I walk into his office he goes, 'Well, the good news is, you can have all the salad you want.' I don't want any salad! He wanted me to eat salad. As a food!”
“I did a lot of dues-paying in L.A. that I didn't pay in Boston because I was kind of a success there. It was all worth it, I guess.”
“I eat healthy. The only problem is late-night eating. It's the Sumo Diet, they eat and go to sleep and that's how they get them that big.”