David Letterman

“Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.”

“USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.”

“Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.”

“There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.”