Carlos Mencia

“I'm not good looking, but I'm not bad looking.”

“We don't grow as human beings from good things happening. We grow from failures.”

“I am living in a world where I am happy and doing what I love and making others happy.”

“When somebody says that a comic steals jokes, it's the ultimate betrayal of comedy.”

“The beauty of comedy is, when people come to a comedy club, there is a certain veil of reality suspended.”

“My choices are made out of love. When I go on stage now, I want to make people happy. I mean, when I get hecklers now, I'm nice to them!”

“Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair.”

“For me, it's always better to tell people the truth, because people can accept the truth.”

“I don't think Latino; I think like me. If that happens to be Latino, then I guess that's me. But it doesn't affect my comedy in any way.”

“I'm like most people in America. I'm conservative on some things, and I'm liberal on other things.”

“On stage, I'm really, really tall. I'm five-foot-9, but on stage, I'm, like, six-foot-5.”

“I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh.”

“My birth name is Ned Mencia.”

“I hate being judged.”

“If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects, poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that.”

“My ancestry is really weird, because my great grandfather was from the Cayman Islands, and then his father was from England. But I lose track at that point.”

“Here's the problem: People have completely and utterly forgotten one thing when it comes to communication - intent.”

“I can't imagine how unbelievable it would be to go to the Great Barrier Reef.”

“When I tell a joke, I immediately know whether it's funny or not.”

“I am a sponge. I don't write things down.”