Carlos Mencia

“When I'm performing for 4,000, 5,000 people, it's a show. It's a rock n' roll concert.”

“I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm doing it to be funny. If there's some darkness to it, or I think it's ill-willed or mean or not cool, then I won't do it.”

“When I'm onstage, I'm on, but a different part of me is on: the part of me that absorbs life, sees everything occurring, and touches on everything around me.”

“When the comedy community turned on me, I had a lot of reflecting to do.”

“Well, the hard part about doing auditions is that the person reading you the lines, they're not really into it. They're just going, 'Oh really, so why do you think that?' And they're just looking at a piece of paper.”

“I don't do anything out of negativity anymore.”

“If you don't like your job, then change it by getting some better skills. Until then, shut up and get my burger with a smile, like in the commercials.”

“It's not hard to lose weight.”

“I never want to forget that my job is to make people laugh.”

“Shows I've done in war zones are the greatest. The first time I was in Iraq, I kid you not, I felt so uncomfortable having the troops say, 'Thank you.' It's so deep and heartfelt.”

“When I was younger, I was angry. I was boisterous and loud. I was on top of the mountain, screaming at everybody, 'Look at me!' Now I'm more of a Taoist.”

“My favorite place is Maui. It's almost perfect there - the people, the weather, just everything. No matter how busy you are, when you get to Maui, you chill and relax.”

“In this pessimistic world, especially in America, a positive outlook is very necessary.”

“I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. They say, 'I can't believe you talked about this - you're racist.' And I say, 'How can I be racist? Isn't racism exclusionary? If all of you are offended, that means I'm including every race in my jokes.'”

“The easiest thing to do is put someone in a file of somebody you already know. 'Hey, you remind me of Sam Kinison' or 'You remind me of Richard Pryor.' That's fine, because I know that's the process. Eventually, my own file will be created.”

“I grew up being very patriotic. My parents really love this country. A big part of what they love is freedom of speech... I'm fearless because aren't we supposed to be able to speak our mind?”

“I was only 20, 21. I was basically going to college to get me out of the ghetto. A friend suggested I try stand-up.”

“I like to look in the crevices of things, the nooks and the crannies. I like to see the things other people don't see, don't want to look at.”

“You can take my dirtiest, craziest joke, and I can break down in my head why there's a good, honest, honorable reason for telling it.”

“I don't want to go on stage with anger. And that's why I worked so hard to look within and change myself and evolve.”