Bauvard

“Without humor, we’d all be what we’re laughing at. Without arrogance, we’d be humiliated to admit we already are.”

“Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.”

“There is an enduring freshness in what remains strange and obscure which the cliches of greatness can only evoke nostalgia for.”

“Experience: the vehicle of history. Teenagers: the driving force behind fatal accidents.”

“Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.”

“When nobody practices what they strongly believe in, that day will be a triumph of prudence.”

“The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.”

“Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks.”

“Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.”

“Injuries heal, but wrinkles are the scars of time.”

“Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?”

“I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.”

“Bragging about your compassion is the first step towards feeling a genuine emotion.”

“Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles.”

“I had a dream about you. You were lost in a daydream, when I walked in and you began screaming. But I know that could never actually happen. In real life I only enter people’s nightmares.”

“Treat each other like human beings? But the other great apes have no class hierarchy.”

“I had a dream about you. You were being hung. I had a sword in one hand and a stool in the other. I couldn’t decide which one to use, so I stood on the stool and threw myself on the sword. It was the least I could do to protest capital punishment.”

“A man is always devoted to something more tangible than a woman - the idea of her.”

“I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine I’m heaven’s landscape painter.”

“Artists are the serfs of a leisure society.”