Andy Kindler

“I wanted to like 'Up in the Air' - I like Jason Reitman - but Vera Farmiga left me cold.”

“I have a true love for the old style of Catskill comic. There's a joy in discovering a bad joke... and then there's the joy of delivering it like, 'Isn't this a hacky joke?'”

“My manager came up with the name 'State of the Industry,' and it was just one of those things. It just took off. Well, I don't know about 'took off.' I'm not in the stratosphere.”

“I've always felt that there's a Catskills comic who lives in my head and is constantly trying to get out. There's all these jokes that have been passed down from Jewish generation to Jewish generation, which I love but which I've always made fun of.”

“I've never been paid as a prognosticator. I don't get a lot of work as a mentalist.”

“There are so many people who just want a flashy object in front of their eyes and don't want to think at all; I find that disturbing.”

“I'm not really in Louis CK's circle. It'd probably be harder if we were really close and I went off on him.”

“If I love a comic but they have an off night, who am I to say they should have taken out this or added that? It doesn't work that way... I have no interest in hurting people's feelings.”

“You tell me that 'Date Night' was good? I'm not going to see it. I will debate you on it, having no knowledge of the footage in the film. I was next to someone on the plane watching it, and they were dozing off.”

“My favorite comedians are basically themselves onstage.”

“I can open up any can of worms and get people upset.”

“I came out to L.A. in '78 to be a musician. I didn't get into comedy until the mid-Eighties.”

“I'm tired of demographic appeal being more important than talent. I want to fight against that.”

“My goal is to be exactly how I am offstage - although I realize I'm supposed to punctuate it with jokes.”

“When I started out in the late '80s, my act was pretty terrible, and for years, I kind of toiled in obscurity. I don't believe in a hierarchy in comedy; I feel that a person deserves respect the first time they get onstage, and after that, they just have to be funny and get more consistent.”

“I don't hate Dane Cook, but I am trying to go after people I think are capable of more.”

“In the '90s, comedy was at a very low point, but these days, you've got people like Hannibal Burress, Ron Funches, Maria Bamford - people who can play any club, anywhere.”

“George Lopez is always on the verge of hilarity. If he could ever think of something funny to say, if he had a funny thought in his mind, he's ready to go.”

“My big fear is that I'll put down so many people, I'll have to leave show biz.”

“I've sold a lot of different product. Very briefly, I sold Time Life Books on the phone.”