Adam Carolla

“The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.”

“The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.”

“I've never really broken this down before, but, in movies, you almost have no connection to fans. And if you do TV, you're kind of connected, but they know you as the TV name not your real name. If you do radio, there's more of a bond there. And then if you do a podcast it's like you're literally inside of your fans.”

“I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.”

“I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the 'Every vote counts.'”

“If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.”

“All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.”

“I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.”

“I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.”

“A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.”

“I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.”

“I'd never hurt another person.”

“I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.”

“I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.”

“In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn't very good at it.”

“There are certain things women are better at than men.”

“Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.”

“I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.”

“If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.”

“Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.”