“If every time we choose a turd, society, at a great expense, simply allows us to redeem it for a pepperoni, then not only will we never learn to make smart choices, we will also surrender the freedom to choose, because a choice without consequences is no choice at all.”

American novelist and essayist, 1936–present. He blends surrealism with social commentary, crafting stories that explore human nature, spirituality, and the absurdities of life through rich, inventive prose. His works often feature eccentric characters and playful, philosophical musings on existence.