“I wasn't ready to be a dog's mother! Trust me, I'm completely unfit and irresponsible. I'm a comic that travels 48 weeks a year, but I make it work, so you can, too.”

American former stand-up comedian, actress, and insult comic

Lisa Lampanelli is an American former stand-up comedian, actress, and insult comic. She built her career around sharp, confrontational comedy and became known for a style that relied on roasting and blunt audience rapport. As a performer, she worked in stand-up and acting, with much of her public identity tied to insult comedy. Her material is associated with direct, unsparing humor and the kind of performance that turns personal jabs into stagecraft.