“I keep getting asked out by really young, good looking boys and really ugly lesbians. So, even if I wanted to jump onto the tuna boat, I wouldn't because I'm not getting high-class babes that I should get at this level of my career. And I always know the ugly ones are serious and that the good-looking ones are goofing on me.”

American former stand-up comedian, actress, and insult comic

Lisa Lampanelli is an American former stand-up comedian, actress, and insult comic. She built her career around sharp, confrontational comedy and became known for a style that relied on roasting and blunt audience rapport. As a performer, she worked in stand-up and acting, with much of her public identity tied to insult comedy. Her material is associated with direct, unsparing humor and the kind of performance that turns personal jabs into stagecraft.