“I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't...Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same...so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself...”

American stand-up comedian, satirist, social critic, actor and author

George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, satirist, social critic, actor, and author. He became known for his sharp, wide-ranging stage work and for the way he folded dark humor into commentary on public life. His routines often focused on contemporary politics, the English language, psychology, and religion. He built a long career around challenging ordinary assumptions and turning everyday speech and social habits into material for critique.