“Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I could never remember the sermons word for word, but here's the gist of almost every sermon I ever heard Joshua give.You should be nice to people, even creeps.And if you:a) believed that Joshua was the Son of God (and)b) he had come to save you from sin (and)c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became as a little child, he would say) (and)d) didn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c)then you would:e) live foreverf) someplace niceg) probably heavanHowever, if you:h) sinned (and/or)i) were a hypocrite (and/or)j) valued things over people (and)k) didn't do a, b, c, and d,then you were:l) fucked”

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About Christopher Moore

American writer

Christopher Moore is an American writer. He is known for fiction that blends humor, imagination, and offbeat situations, and has built a large readership through a long career as a novelist. His books often mix the absurd with the everyday, giving his work a distinctive comic tone. With 104 quotes on the site, he is represented here through the lines readers most often search for, but the biographical record here is limited to his role as a writer.

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Books by Christopher Moore

Practical Demonkeeping

1992

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You Suck

2007

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Bloodsucking Fiends

1995

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