Tiffany Haddish

“I've always been outwardly personal. I've always been that chick. A lot of my friends be like, 'TMI, Tiffany, TMI.' I just feel like it's important to share your experience on this Earth, because you never know who's watching, who might be going through the same thing, who might feel devastated.”

“My therapist was like, 'What brings joy to your heart?' And I was like, 'I like to see teeth. I guess maybe I should have been a dentist.'”

“I did tell the census man I was white, and I'm telling you, I started getting offers for the black American Express card in the mail.”

“Any comedic roles that I've gone out for usually end up going to a white woman or a gay man instead.”

“I love Groupon. I just got a pedicure because of Groupon, and it was the best pedicure ever. I'm going to write a review!”

“I'm not afraid of any kind of job, I'm not afraid to play any kind of role, as long as it doesn't compromise my morals.”

“I did this movie called 'Their Eyes Were Watching God,' and I was an extra, and it was a movie that Oprah was producing. She had walked by, and I was making all the other extras laugh, and she said, 'You're a very funny young lady.' I was like, 'Eeeee!'”

“I do have esteem issues when it comes to reading and writing. I always feel kind of self-conscious about letting people read something that I wrote, because the last thing I wanna hear is, 'You spelled everything wrong.'”

“I feel like a foster kid that's been in the system for a long time, and then at 16, somebody adopted them and said, 'You can go to college, and you ain't got to pay no student loans.' I feel happy. I feel accepted after all these years of blood, sweat, and tears.”

“I don't mean to be so sensitive, but that's just who I am. And I'm not afraid to admit it.”

“Being on stage is, like, my favorite. The immediate gratification. That's my favorite.”

“Everybody in my life who is important to me is a star to me.”

“As far as ever wanting to give up, there have been a few times where I thought, 'Man, am I even good enough to do this?' Because people have said things to me like, 'You're too pretty. You shouldn't do comedy. Go ahead and get pregnant by a rich guy and chill.'”

“If the award comes with a check, then I want that award. But if it doesn't come with a check, then I'm not that interested. I'd much rather join NASCAR and get a trophy and a check.”

“Everybody the same: We all got problems. We all want to be loved. We all wanna be happy.”

“Every teacher that I've ever had, that I still remember their name, made me laugh. I feel like comedy is the best instrument to teach.”

“The body is a universal language. Because if you spoke French, and I speak English, but I move like this or do certain movements, I can still make you smile and laugh.”

“The last bag that I bought myself was a Madden Girl backpack that's really cute. And it was on sale for $45! I'm probably going to be cheap with my money for a long time.”

“For any women trying to do comedy, I would suggest you do one thing every day towards your goal. First, you figure out what it is you want to accomplish. Don't be afraid to set a new goal every day, but every single day, do one thing towards your goal, and you will achieve it.”

“When my people are dying, that's when you gonna catch me protesting. I'm not gonna protest because somebody got offered not the amount of money they wanted to get offered. If you don't like what they're offering you, just no longer do business with them.”