Steve Harvey

“I think there are so many books out there written on relationships and romance that women are the authors of. How can women know exactly how men think? And there are so many guys out there with relationship books who are just not telling the truth. They have shaded parts.”

“I had, like, 11 jobs. I've been fired 11 times! 'Cause I'm not cut for that. You know, I was a great employee, man. Everybody loved me coming to work - I'm singing, tellin' jokes on the assembly line. I was miserable, man. I was dying. I was dying.”

“My calling is to help people, to teach people, to share with people, until I die. I can never stop doing that. I can't, and I don't want to.”

“All I knew growing up was that my father was married to and loved my momma, period. He worked hard, made some money, and put it on the dresser. She spent it on the family, and he went out and earned some more. He taught me the most about love.”

“I never in my life saw myself as a game show host. I don't want to be a traffic cop.”

“Women are the real reason we get up every day. I'm talking about real men. If there were no women, I would not even have to bathe, because why would I care? These are guys I'm hanging with. I wake up for a woman every day of my life to make it happen for her.”

“Every day, President Obama sends a beautiful message about how we should treat our women based on how he treats his wife. When people went after his wife during the campaign, he took a stand.”

“The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to be very quick, and that's what I do.”

“Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance....Well, I’m here to tell you that expecting that kind of love— that perfection—from a man is unrealistic. That’s right, I said it—it’s not gonna happen, no way, no how. Because a man’s love isn’t like a woman’s love.”

“I'm not a doctor. I just have a tremendous amount of common sense.”

“I just believe if you don't believe in God, then where is your moral barometer? That's just me talking. You can believe what you want to believe.”

“My marriage to Marjorie is the most rewarding thing that ever happened to me. She gave me a life and a relationship that I didn't know existed.”

“I don't think it's cool for people to say, 'You shouldn't reference God because I don't believe that, and I don't want to hear it.' Well, there's a lot of stuff I don't believe that I still gotta hear.”

“The first time I saw my wife, Marjorie, I was doing stand-up in Memphis, and she was sitting in the front row. Afterward, I walked up and said, 'Ma'am, I'm going to marry you one day.' And 15 years later, I did.”

“I don't rehearse on either of my shows, 'Family Feud' or my talk show. I never rehearse with the guests. I don't want to have any preconceived thoughts, notions, because that kills my creativity as a host and as a stand up.”

“A person has to remember that the road to success is always under construction. You have to get that through your head. That it is not easy becoming successful.”

“I won an amateur night, October 8th, 1985. I went to work the next day and quit my job.”

“If you are her man, she will talk to you until there justaren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’reat rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold youin her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’reup. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I meanreally loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty,encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’snot so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, evenwhen you’re not saying anything worth listening to.”

“I never say 'nagging.' I think that 'nagging' is a term that men created to get women to pipe down some. But, it's a trap that we've created. We created several terms for women to back you down. Nagging means to stop asking me questions, then we get away with more. I think it's a term men created.”

“You've got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business.”