A biography for Robert Orbenhasn’t been written yet.
“To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.”
“I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.”
“President Ford used humor a great deal.”
“Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.”
“Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.”
“Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.”
“Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.”
“Do your kids a favor - don't have any.”
“Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.”
“The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.”
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.”
“Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.”
“Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!”
“Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.”
“Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.”
“Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.”
“The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.”
“Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.”
“There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.”
“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.”