Richard Lewis

“My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.”

“There's a thin line between narcissism, even if it's a healthy narcissism, and entertainment.”

“When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.”

“When I started out, I struggled, and I was broke a lot. But I'm glad I struggled, and I'm glad I was broke a lot.”

“I was 23, and all sorts of people were coming in and out and watching me, like Steve Allen and Bette Midler. David Brenner certainly took me under his wing. To drive home to my little dump in New Jersey often knowing that Steve Allen said, 'You got it' - that validation kept me going in a big, big way.”

“I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.”

“My performance level has risen - and my anxiety-level has sky-rocketed.”

“I was way more comfortable in front of strangers than I was in front of relatives. So when they would laugh at my dysfunctions or my anxiety, I felt less alone, and I still do it for the same reason.”

“My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.”

“I know what my sweet spot has been. It's personal stuff, dysfunction, fear of intimacy, family stuff, psychology stuff. I eviscerate myself onstage.”

“My family - it wasn't an abusive family - they meant well, but they were in their own world.”

“If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you'd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that you'll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that you're up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Don't expect any sympathy from anybody.”

“Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.”

“I never gave much thought to anything since I was 22 years old, when I got into the arts, so when Larry David came to my house in 2000, I didn't even think about it - I just thought about showing up on the set.”

“My wife's hip, beautiful and independent and never jealous.”

“I didn't ever feel close to my real family. I didn't feel validated; I never felt right because I was always wrong.”

“When I was younger, I listened to the greats: Winters, Mel and Carl, Nichols and May, Pryor, Carlin, Klein, Berman and lots of Lenny Bruce albums. But once I started doing fairly well, I didn't want to hear anybody's jokes or premises.”

“I certainly wouldn't be a dental hygienist - they should get the Medal of Honor just to look at people's gums.”

“I'm 70; I'm just glad I'm on top of the ground. Honest to God.”

“When you do something in the moment, it may just be for that stage, that audience, that head space that you're in.”