Pat Paulsen

“Now that my wine has been served in the White House, why not me? Who could talk to farmers better than I? Somebody even asked me the other day if I had anything in my platform about taxes. 'Hell yes,' I said. 'Great state. But I wouldn't want to live there.'”

“Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.”

“I don't need adult supervision.”

“I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.”

“We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example; I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.”

“All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.”

“If elected, I will win.”

“The Clinton Administration has turned out to be a boon. I knew that he would be wonderful, I just knew it from the beginning. From Arkansas? Shoot.”

“Should we continue to spend billions to subsidize foreign military dictatorships, or should we concentrate on taking better care of the one we have right here at home?”

“As I've always said: The future lies ahead.”

“I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.”

“I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.”

“If you're old enough to be arrested, you're old enough to carry a gun.”

“I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.”

“A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?”

“The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.”

“Will I obliterate national debt? Sure, why not?”

“Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.”

“Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really; it's sort of a brisk walk.”

“We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.”