Mike Epps

“With Ice Cube they ain't no telling. He might have one cocked and loaded, ready to bust. We might do The Sunday, two old men sitting around the house waiting on the social security check.”

“I'm a survivor of life. I try to give the glory to God and appreciate what's happening to me.”

“You know, you can't make the people do what you want them to do.”

“I've been with this young lady for about two years now, and my life changed. I don't even think that way no more. I feel good, too, that I'm changed. Now I feel regular. I feel like I'm supposed to.”

“I love Richard Pryor. I love him to death.”

“Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.”

“I watch old school film so that I can learn so much that I just sort of miss all the new stuff.”

“Every now and then you get a nice Jewish kid who likes black people and they would come in, and it would be a stream of them, and have black friends and really feel the black struggle on the acting tip and it's a reason why all of us are not dying in the movie.”

“I don't know why people think I'm this ad-lib dude.”

“I used to be a dusty little child.”

“I don't know nothing about no marriages or nothing. I ain't even never been to a wedding.”

“Cedric, man, it's like if I'm working with you, like I'm sitting here now talking to you, I want to get along with you. That's how I am. I feel like if I get along with you, the work will be splendid.”

“But I'm real conscious about what I do. I don't care what the label is. I'm looking at the outcome of it.”

“She didn't break his heart, but I feel like a man is supposed to be a man, he ain't supposed to be all involved in that. That's why she got sisters and friend for. Just show up with the ring and act right.”

“You would be surprised of films that people just don't see. You know what I mean? I'm always working and I'm a film buff but I'm an old school film buff.”

“You know, my life's changed now. I'm starting to experience what people are really supposed to do. You supposed to be married. You're supposed to have a family, kids, treat your wife right.”

“I can remember when I was a baby and my mother was there watching the show. I went and bought 100 episodes and watched them. I respect it so much that the sitcom itself and Ed Norton; I'm not playing Ed Norton but my version of it, cause I'm a black man.”

“They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.”

“I think in life, the sense of humor and comedy always exists.”

“Federal prison, if you get any of it, you're going to have to do 85% of it. And the reason why I called it that is because I had a friend who got sent to the federal joint and his whole... it wasn't about him being in jail. He cried about the 85%.”