Mel Brooks

“We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.”

“Well, you know, 'Spaceballs' is a weird combination, because it's a simple, sweet little fairytale, and it's crazy and out-there and making fun of and taking apart sci-fi, 'Star Wars', and 'Star Trek'.”

“Judd Apatow is pretty good, both as a producer and as a director.”

“Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.”

“If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.”

“I'll accept bad taste in a minute, as long as there's some great comedy minds and performances.”

“I only direct in self-defense.”

“The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.”

“Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.”

“It's talent. Either you got it or you ain't.”

“He who hesitates is poor.”

“I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn.”

“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”

“'Mad About You' was very fun.”

“A brushstroke of vanity is good to add into the mix, to balance your timidity. We're all blessed with a lot of timidity and a lot of worry and anxiety, and vanity is a good antidote.”

“Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.”

“I was a soldier in WWII. The last couple of months of the war I was actually in combat.”

“אם הייתי שולח מסר לעולם, הייתי אומר לו מה שאומרות אמהות יהודיות לבניהן: אל תילחם! תאכל את מה שיש לך בצלחת! אל תעשה רעש! אל תפריעו לשכנים שלכם!”

“אם הם [הנשיאים] לא עושים את זה לנשותיהם, הם עושים את זה למדינה!”

“תמיד אומרת את האמת על ההתנהגות האנושית.”