A biography for Lisa Lampanellihasn’t been written yet.
“I would make a few jabs at myself and go for the audience - they are still as flawed as ever.”
“That's the whole thing: You only roast the ones you love. That's why I never make fun of the French.”
“Howard Stern gave me the best advice about Twitter and the N word. He said maybe onstage people get the intention behind the joke, but a tweet is 140 characters or less, and maybe that's why people overreact. I don't need to rustle any more feathers and lose any investors.”
“Don't laugh at a hair joke, Trump.”
“When doing comedy, I do what makes me laugh. The first person I learned from said I should talk about things I am passionate about - that I love or hate - because the audience likes to see passion. The stuff I rant and rave about stems from a place that really pisses me off.”
“I always wrote about myself in the third person. I knew how to promote myself so it sounded intelligent. I know how to package myself.”
“I don't sell myself. I've never explained my comedy to people who don't get it. Never complain. Never explain.”
“If Flavor Flav was any smaller and darker, Brad and Angelina would try to adopt him.”
“I honestly feel like 99 percent of people have some kind of self-hate about their looks, and if I can joke about mine, maybe they can feel better about theirs.”
“I usually get so warned when I go to Detroit, like, 'Oh my God, don't go to this section, don't go to that section.' I've never had any issues in Detroit. I love that there's enough of a racial mix of people to make fun of. I've always had a good time there.”
“I feel that if I retire today, I've done enough. I've achieved everything in comedy... I feel I don't need anything else. It's already built.”
“William Shatner is living proof that if you are talented and nice, you can work in this industry forever.”
“Until I got the weight off, there was something inside of me that said, 'You hate yourself.' You get too depressed over the weight to really work on this. For whatever reason, I had to take the weight off to do this work.”