Leslie Nielsen

“If I couldn't be an actor, I would only consider being an astronaut, a sea otter, or a gynecologist.”

“I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each other, particularly my two brothers and myself, when my father was upset with something you'd want to make sure in some way you made him laugh. Because when he didn't laugh, you were in trouble!”

“It's been dawning on me slowly that for the past 35 years I have been cast against type, and I'm finally getting to do what I really wanted to do.”

“You know it's very difficult to be an actor, and to have people depending on you to say the right line, at the right time, and to not be able to hear your cues! I can't tell you how many times I would've had to have said What? if I didn't have my hearing aids. So my hearing aids are a life saver, and they allow me to practice my craft.”

“I wore that same shirt yesterday playing golf. There goes the Nike account.”

“Who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.”

“I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous.”