Leslie Nielsen

“I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.”

“It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better!”

“The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.”

“It was a boy's name first.”

“Shirley! Don't call me Shirley!”

“As for honours, I've had a few along the way, and to be honest, I never expected any of them. I made a good living for decades, and that was enough; that, and maybe a good residual cheque from time to time.”

“Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.”

“I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts; perhaps it was my Canadian accent.”

“The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.”

“There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.”

“I've produced, but as for directing, that's a dream that'll have to go unfulfilled.”

“The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address.”

“Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.”

“There were 15 people in the village, including five of us. If my father arrested somebody in the winter, he'd have to wait until the thaw to turn him in.”

“To be honest, I never, ever thought I'd ever do comedy. I was so frequently cast early on as a high-born young man with... 'problems' and, later, as a heavy, from black-hatted western villains to the corporate raider to bad cops.”

“I've finally found my home - as Lt. Frank Drebin.”

“I don't have a hard and fast rule about dignity. I'm concerned about being treated with respect, but if I make my own choices and kind of let 'er rip, I will.”

“I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, you know, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there's no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that's standing ten feet to eleven feet tall! Can you imagine? But it was fascinating to work that close to that kind of animal.”

“In those days, I auditioned for everything MGM made while I was under contract. Not for the roles Elizabeth Taylor eventually got, of course.”

“I have always loved science fiction. One of my favorite shows is 'Star Trek.' I like the trips, where it drops my mind off, because they give you a premise and all of a sudden, you say, 'Oh!' and I'm fascinated by it.”