Kathy Griffin

“Another example of getting flack from the boys is what happened when Jack Black dumped me. That’s right. I fucked Jack Black. Okay, we went out only two or three times, but that’s a relationship in my book. And by the way, this is my book.”

“I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.”

“I am in love with Larry David.”

“I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.”

“Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.”

“I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.”

“If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.”

“I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.”

“I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.”

“I'm basically always on tour.”

“Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth.”

“My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.”

“A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.”

“I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.”

“I also don't have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.”

“I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.”

“I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.”

“The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.”

“I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.”

“When I'm going to see a comedian, I don't want to see them hold back, and when I'm reading a book, I don't want to hear an abridged version.”