A biography for Johnny Carsonhasn’t been written yet.
“Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.”
“I am one of the lucky people in the world: I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.”
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
“הצלחתי הייתה תוצאה של עבודה קשה.”
“לעולם אל נא תזדקק לדברי מליצה, כל עוד אתה יכול להסתפק בקללה קטנה.”
“שלח את חבילתך מוקדם, כדי שהדואר יוכל לאבד אותה לפני חג המולד.”
“אם השינוי מהווה את התבלין שבחיים, הנישואים כמוהם כשארית קופסת בשר חזיר.”
“אם הצדק היה מנצח בחיים, אלביס פרסלי היה חי וכל אלה שניסו לחקותו היו מתים.”
“אני יודע כי אתה נשוי לאותה אישה מזה 69 שנה; זה נפלא וגם לא יקר מדי.”
“הכרתי אדם שחדל לעשן, לשתות, לקיים יחסי מין ולאכול מזון עשיר; הוא היה בריא לגמרי עד שהתאבד.”
“We're more effective than birth control pills.”
“Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.”
“Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'”
“I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”
“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”
“When turkeys mate they think of swans.”
“In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.”
“To be an entertainer, you gotta be a little gutsy, a little egotistical, so you have to pull back sometimes when people say, 'Well, he's stuck-up.' 'Stuck-up' is only another word for self-conscious.”
“Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.”
“If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.”