J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

“You know how dumb the average person is? Well, by definition, half of 'em are even dumber than THAT.”

“You'll PAY to know what you really think.”

“This "Church of the SubGenius" is the best scam I ever pulled.”

“They may be Pink, but their money's still green!”

“Relax in the safety of your own delusions.”

“Pull the wool over your own eyes.”

“Just because some jackass is an atheist doesn't mean that his prophets and gods are any less false.”

“Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.”

“Don't just eat that hamburger, eat the HELL out of it!”

“Act like a dumbshit and they'll treat you like an equal.”

“The SubGenius must have Slack.”

“Everyone here is stupid.”