Helen Rowland

“When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.”

“Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.”

“It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.”

“Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.”

“Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.”

“Failing to be there when a man wants her is the greatest sin a woman can commit - except being there when he doesn't want her.”

“Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.”

“In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.”

“A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.”

“A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.”

“Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.”

“To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.”

“When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.”

“In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.”

“When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.”

“Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.”

“There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.”

“Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.”

“There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.”

“Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.”