Fran Lebowitz

“Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.”

“Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.”

“If you're going to America, bring your own food.”

“To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.”

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”

“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

“All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing to actually write.”